Longing and Legacy
by Falconcry
Summary: Consumed by emotions lingering from Obito's death, Kakashi takes out his anger in the forest outside of Konoha. Rin follows him, and through remembering their fallen friend, they discover their true feelings for each other.


It was a beautiful, clear night in Konoha, the warm spring air settling over the quiet village as the moon rose, majestic and silver. The waning crescent shone in the black sky like the sliver of a claw, casting brilliant light on the roofs of the sleeping streets. Few lights were on at this time, for hours ago most people had retired to bed. It was early spring, so the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, the gentle night breeze ruffling the petals of the trees and sending a few floating gracefully towards the earth. A dark shadow flashed between the trunks of the massive trees surrounding Konohagakure, moving so rapidly that the moonlight could not touch it as it flew in-between the patches of shade cast by the behemoths.

The young shinobi ran with his feet barely touching the ground, exposed right eye smoldering as he pushed himself faster, avoiding trees by sometimes only millimeters. Rage boiled deep in his stomach and rose up like bile in his throat, choking off the sob that had been building there moments ago. He impatiently smacked away the tears that were glimmering unshed in his eye. His hand brushed over the metal of his headband covering his left eye, and his anger did nothing but grow. Thoughts flashed through his mind, rapid-fire and confusing, evoking emotions of profound sorrow and scorching fury.

_He had been so weak… he hadn't been able to protect him. _Anger hit him hard and fast like a blow as his grief overflowed, too big for his body. The silver-haired youth skidded to a halt, tremors running up and down his body at the force of his anger. He clenched his hands into fists, but it did nothing to quell his burning desire to destroy. Wrath clouding his judgment, he ripped off his headband and threw it as hard as he could into the darkness of the forest. Not caring to see where it landed he whirled on his heel and opened his Sharingan eye wide. He felt the sinful rush of power course through his veins like liquid fire. It felt good, so good, to have such a potent outlet for his aggression.

His best friend, comrade, brother in arms… had died because of _his weakness. _Guilt and self-loathing surged up in his chest and filled him with terrible pain, so acute it was a physical ache. His heart throbbed with its force and he clutched at it, shaking again. If only he could make the agony go away… but he didn't deserve that kind of peace. Weaving a few quick signs he gripped his right wrist with this left hand, focusing all of his hate and torturous sorrow into his palm. Immediately, the air began to hum with electricity and blue bolts of lightning arced from his hand, enveloped in pure, burning chakra. Blinded by his anger, he charged at the nearest tree, bringing his right arm back and feeling the untainted power course through his body.

His fingertips smashed into the rough bark and an explosion resonated through the night air, echoing off into the forest as his arm sank into the wood up to his elbow. A fierce rush of satisfaction burned in his chest as he withdrew his arm and watched the mighty tree crack in half. His arm was dripping blood. The broken flesh crimson in the moonlight, but he refused to register the pain as his heterochromatic eyes watched the tree fall. As it toppled and crashed into its fellows a strange feeling seized the young ninja's heart: overpowering despair. He gasped a half-formed sob and forcefully bit the inside of his lip to keep from crying out. He bowed his head and let the desolation crush his aching heart; the thundering sound of the crashing trees lost in the depression that enveloped his senses.

Putting a hand over his face and setting his teeth on edge, he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, feeling hot tears leak from under his eyelids. The emotional torment was too much. How could he go on living like this? The weight of Obito's death sank his consciousness into further misery and his knees buckled. He hit the hard earth with a _thump_. His little form shuddered uncontrollably as silent sobs wracked his body, his half-hidden face buried in his shaking hands. He wanted to take his own life, to make the pain go away, but he knew he couldn't do it. He was too much of a coward. Nothing he could ever do would make up for the death of Obito Uchiha. It was that simple.

_So then what's the point in living! _His mind screamed as he slammed both of his fists into the ground. Salty tears ran down his cheeks and wet his mask before abandoning him and falling to the forest floor. At a loss for what to do next, he began pounding the ground, ripping open his knuckles and staining the dirt the color of roses. But Kakashi didn't care. Sorrow seared up his throat and pushed more tears out of his eyes. So distraught was he that he didn't even notice someone walking up from behind until a tentative hand was placed on his shoulder. His eyes flew open, battle reflexes taking over as he turned with blinding speed and knocked the person to the ground. He shoved a kunai knife to the intruder's throat, uneven breathing labored.

It was only after he had done this that he realized whom he had tackled. His heavy breathing slowing and his eyes widening, he quickly stood up and backed away a few paces. Kakashi still clutched the kunai as Rin got slowly to her feet. His face flushed at her worried and frightened face, hurriedly wiping the tears from his eyes and hoping she hadn't seen them. For a few moments they just stared at each other as he tried to find his voice. Rin's expression softened a bit as she took a step closer. It was then that he realized what she was holding in her hand: it was his headband. "Are you alright, Kakashi?" Her voice was soft, placating, and it soothed the fire of his torment, but only a little.

He jerked his head stiffly to the side to say no, but his eyes must have given him away. "What's wrong?" Kakashi found himself unable to speak as she stepped nearer and wordlessly offered his headband with both hands. For a moment he ignored it before speaking in a harsh, grating tone.

"I don't deserve that." The words were meant to be firm, but his voice broke in places and failed him. He flicked his eyes to Rin and his heart wrenched to see the pain in her gaze. Kakashi made no move to stop her as she came closer, taking the edges of the headband and trying it around his head, straightening out the metal piece so it was right above his eyes.

"There," the medic-nin said softly after drawing back a step. "It's back where it belongs." Kakashi gave no thanks and instead roughly yanked the left side over his Sharingan eye. He wasn't trying to be mean; it was in his nature to draw back inside of himself when people tried to know his feelings. Moments rolled by with Rin trying to catch his eye but he pointedly stared at the ground, still drowning in internal melancholy. "You're hurt," she said, and Kakashi looked down at his torn up knuckles and arm, apathy clearly written on his face.

All he could say was "Oh," which left him feeling extremely stupid. Rin firmly – but not unkindly – pushed him down into a sitting position and knelt in front of him. With a feather-light touch she ran her hands over his wounds. Frowning slightly at the frighteningly vacant expression on his face, she avoided it and pressed her hands onto his forearm. A soft green light enveloped the torn skin, mending it. Rin took his hands in hers and felt him stiffen as she healed them, not letting go even when the process was complete. She was worried about his state of mind to say the least. She wasn't letting him walk away without explaining what was on his heart. She clasped his hands between hers and held them tightly, searching his face.

"You know you can talk to me, Kakashi-kun." A flicker of an unreadable emotion crossed his face and she went on. "If there's something you want to say, then please, share it!" Rin's expression intensified to open worry, now afraid for her friend. She again tried to catch his eye but failed. "You're scaring me…" She lapsed into silence. Rin squeezed Kakashi's hands but got no response. She sighed and looked away, unable to bear the sight of the one she loved in such a defeated state.

"I haven't slept in days; this guilt is eating me alive." She was so lost in his silence she jumped a little at the sound of his voice. Rin gazed worriedly into Kakashi's dark eye, now fixed on her with a weary look. "Obito died because of my weakness. If I had been able to kill those men sooner, he would still be with us…" He trailed off and looked away again, and Rin was suddenly angry at him. What right did he have, blaming himself for what someone else did?

"Now you listen here, Kakashi Hatake." Her tone was stern as she placed both hands on either side of his face and turned it sharply towards her intense glare. "Don't you _dare_ say things like that. They're not true." Her tone became sharper and tears pricked at the edges of her eyes. "Obito…" Her voice broke on their dead comrade's name as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "He… he wouldn't want it this way. You tried your best. Even though Obito is gone, we still avenged his death, right?" Kakashi nodded ruefully in her hands and she smiled waveringly, tears leaking in clear rivulets down her cheeks. "If you want to blame anyone for his death… blame me." Kakashi jaw contorted beneath her fingers as he adopted a mutinous expression.

He reached up and held her hand against his cheek, his single exposed eye questioning as he searched her tear-stained visage. Rin drew her free hand across her eyes to dry her tears. Kakashi leaned forward slightly, his gaze penetrating.

"Why would I ever blame you?" She looked up at him with glimmering eyes and attempted a smile.

"Because I'm the one who got captured and made you guys come and rescue me…" Kakashi could do nothing but stare in disbelief as Rin blamed herself for the death of Obito. "And, and…" the burgundy-haired girl sputtered. "You would still have your eye, and he would be all right…" She hiccupped and began to cry harder. Kakashi watched with a growing sense of rending guilt. He let go of Rin's hand as she tugged it free and used it to hide her messy face from view. Only then did he realize how much his friend's death had affected everyone around him; the Village, Minato-sensei, and Rin… he was so selfish, thinking that he was the one suffering the most.

"Rin, don't cry." he begged, desperation creeping into his voice as he scooted up next to her. He half extended his hand towards her, hesitating before awkwardly putting his arm around her shoulders in what he hoped would be a comforting gesture. Rin sniffed and rubbed her nose, Kakashi sighing inwardly in relief that she had stopped crying. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around his chest and buried her head in his neck. She was quivering slightly with the effort it took to keep under control. The young Jonin froze, his eye widening in shock at the unexpected display of affection. He stared down in wonder at her as she sniffed again, louder this time.

"I miss him so much," she whispered, tightening her arms around Kakashi's strong, lithe torso. He nodded and she looked up at him with shining eyes and a shaky smile. "But I feel… like he's living on in us, especially in you." Barely daring to breathe, he watched her lift a hand and gently touch the metal of his headband where his Sharingan was hidden. "A little piece of him," Rin said softly, slowly drawing her hand down his neck, making him shiver. "Left in you. It's like there will always be a bit of Obito for us." She smiled and wiped away the tear that he didn't even realize was running down his cheek.

Silence draped over them; Rin breathing peacefully on his shoulder and Kakashi lost in thought. "You loved him, didn't you?" he asked quietly. Rin's head shot up and she locked eyes with him. Her expression accused and his weary and knowing. "It's alright," Kakashi added quickly, looking away so she wouldn't have to see his cheeks redden slightly. "You guys were close, and I understand." He looked back to find Rin shaking her head and smiling. She huddled nearer to him until she was close, much too close. Startled, Kakashi inclined his neck as she leaned in.

"No, you silly scarecrow," she teased, making a play of his name as she placed her hands on his shoulders. "I love _you_." A jolt of adrenaline shocked through him quicker than lightning as the truth of her words pierced him like a knife. Rin kissed him quickly on the cheek and drew back, giggling as Kakashi turned a delicate shade of scarlet. She had stolen his voice. All he could do was sit there and blink rapidly, trying to digest what had just happened. Rin held him close with a deliberate look on her face. When he finally mustered the courage, he met her eyes, his expression was unfathomable as he nodded stiffly.

"I swore to Obito that I would protect you," he began, gathering her in his arms and pressing her against his body. "So if this is what it takes, I'll do it." He rested his chin on her head and felt her press up against him. Kakashi could feel her heartbeat, quick and excited like that of a bird. Its deep pounding filled him with hope. In that moment, they became one. They no longer had to carry and the burden of Obito's death alone. They would bear it together, and hopefully, that would be enough. It would never go away, it would never lessen or dull, but at least they would have each other.


End file.
